Oh Me, Oh Mãe (2020-)

I began Oh Me, Oh Mãe after giving birth to my daughter in June 2020.

I only refer to her as B and will not show her face in order to give her some privacy.

As I had documented my pregnancy, I wanted to document early motherhood whilst being as honest as possible about my experiences. The images are accompanied by diaristic text (either in the form of hashtags or 'normal text').

The title is a play on the phrase 'oh me, oh my' as Mãe is Portuguese for mother and pronounced as 'myy'.

(Below are a selection of images)

I am posting all the images to my Instagram account, and blog.

5 Hours Before Giving Birth

5 Hours Before Giving Birth II

24 Hours After Giving Birth

24 Hours After Giving Birth II

What I Wore For My Four Night Hospital Stay After Giving Birth (19th June 2020)

#WeHadPackedTheBagJustInCaseACoupleOfWeeksPreviouslyEvenThoughWeWerePlanningForAHomeBirth

#IThoughtAtLeastEverythingIMightNeedEvenForHomeWouldBeInTheSamePlace

#IKeptSayingWeShouldRevisitThemButWeNeverGotRoundToItEspeciallyAsSomeThingsWeNeededForEverydayUse

#SoWhenICalledTheHospitalToSayMyWatersHadBrokeTheySaidToBringBagsInJustInCase

#WeSpentHalfAnHourRushingRoundButIDidNotTakeItTooSeriously

#INearlyDidNotPackThisDressAsItWasWhatIWasWearingInBedWhenMyWatersBroke

#ItWasALittleWetAndItDidNotSmellSoIPutItInMyBagThinkingIWouldBeComingHomeSoonForMyHomeBirth

#WellObviouslyIDidNotComeHomeAndWasInHospitalFor4Nights

#AndILivedInThisDress

#ICouldHaveAskedTiagoToBringMoreThingsButByTheTimeIThoughtAboutItIKnewMyStayWasComingToAnEnd

#OriginallyIWasInHospitalDueToProblemsWithBreastfeedingAndThenBabyBGotJaundice

#TheDressShowsColostrumStainsAndThenMilkStainsAfterMyMilkCameInOnDay3

#ItWouldHaveBeenEvenMessierThanThisButOftenISatWithMyDressOffToDoSkinToSkin

#SoManyWomenTouchedMyBoobsDuringMyStayToHelpMeTryToFeedSoIDidNotCareAnymore

#PlusAround6PeopleWereAtTheBirthPlusTiago

#ItWasWeirdToSuddenlyBeAroundSoManyPeopleAfterHavingNotSeenMyFamilyFor3MonthsDueToCovid

#MyCurtainWasNeverFullyClosedAsThereWasALightSwitchJustBehindItThatTheHospitalStaffUsed

#SoPotentiallyPeopleCouldSeeInButIReallyDidNotCare

#AfterAFewDaysIThoughtIBetterWearSomethingElseButItWasTooHot

#TheOtherWomenOnTheWardProbablyJudgedMeForWearingAStainCoveredDress

#ButSoManyCameAndWentBeforeMe

#IDidNotWearMyWatchBecauseOfBreastfeeding

#ISometimesWoreANursingBraButInTheBeginningIDidNotAndThenIUsedBreastPadsOnceMyMilkCameIn

#IHadMyEyeMaskOnMyHeadAllTheTimeAndEvenAfterIGotHome

#TheJokeWasIWasNotSleepingThoughAndIStillAmNotReally

#IBoughtItAsItWasOnARecommendedHospitalListButIAlsoThoughtItWouldBeGoodForHomeAsIFindItHardToSleep

#ItWasProbablyTheMostUsefulThingInMyHospitalBagInTheEndAndIAmUsingItAtHome

#AndThenIWasGladThatIWoreMySandalsAndNotTrainers

#SoEasyToJustSlipOnAndOffAndMoveAbout

#IHaveJustLivedInSandalsForAllOfLockdown

Not Sleeping Makes Me Emotional (25th June 2020)

Not Sleeping Makes Me Emotional (25th June 2020)

I really don’t know how long I slept last night

But I didn't rest much

Tiago went 'back to work' today

Paternity in this country is so bad

So bad that he took 1 week of it and 1 week of annual leave

He was only in the other room but I felt alone

Feeding seemed never ending this morning

Then she settled in a wrap

When we took her out Tiago commented on how red her legs were

I didn't want to look

I was getting hungry and I just got upset

I should be lying down more

Now I am getting tired

When I took this picture I was worried that I was not producing enough milk

I hadn't eaten and I had barely drank

It's a big responsibility making sure she gets enough to eat/drink.

I can see why people give up or just bottle feed

I guess I do forget that I can just breastfeed rather than express

Though I have started to do a bit of both

Maybe I should just try breastfeeding her and see how that goes

Less stressful than running round trying to pump

Lockdown just makes it all so weird

She is 2 weeks old and I am yet to go for a walk

Hopefully we will tonight but I say that every night

I guess usually we'd get more support

I just feel like I have 1000 things to do

But I need to focus on my family.