Screenshot of the website that displayed the videos at my MA show in 2014
Your Dedication Worries Me A Little (2013-)
There are currently 2,000+ videos of me dancing on YouTube to songs that I like.
During my MA I wanted to make work around getting yelled at in the street as a teenager for how I dressed. I initially started off walking around London in outfits that would get people to react to me (bright clothes and an animal hat), but I found it mentally exhausting. What could I do where people would react to me but I didn't have to leave my room? One day whilst sat at home at my desk dancing along to songs like I always do I thought that instead I could put dance videos on youtube.
Until June 2020, the videos were posted on a channel with the name of Helena Teasdale as I initially didn't want anyone to know that I was making the videos (except from people on my course) and I wondered if any of my friends would find them. However, after my account was nearly closed down I started to tell people about it. I am now posting under my real name.
It is also an exercise in building my confidence and trying to care less of what people think about me, as well as getting to share songs that I like with others. It is an ongoing project.
As of 2019 I have started to dance again to videos that I've previously danced to without watching them and presenting them side by side. I am continuing to dance to new songs as well.
My Body Is My Body Is My Body Is My Body (2019)
#IWillBeSurprisedIfThisAudioDoesNotCreepIntoMyDreamsTonight
#MoreLikeMyNightmaresAsIRecordedItSoManyTimes
#AndThenHeardItSoManyTimesWhilstTryingToWorkOutChoreographyForIt
#IUsuallyImprovMyDanceVideos
#1TakeOnlyBusinessNotThis40TimesNonsense
#IWasTracingMyFaceTheOtherDayWhilstSettingUpForDanceVideosSoIWroteTheIdeaDown
#IAmSureItHasBeenDoneAMillionTimesBeforeByPeopleForVideosButEverythingHasBeenDoneBeforeRight
#TodayIPlannedToMakeACompletelyDifferentVideoThenISawThisIdeaAndFeltUpForDoingIt
#IWasSatOnMyExerciseMatThinkingMoreThanExercisingAndWonderedWhatAudioToDoAsIDidNotWantItToBeSilent
#AndThenIJustStartedDoingALittleWhisperedChantAboutMyBodyBeingMyBody
#BecauseItIsMyBodyYeah
#SoIDugOutMyRecorderWhichIsApparentlyUpsetAsItIsOnlyShowing8s
#ButItStillWorkedSoIStartedToRecordInMyBathroomAsItIsTheMostSoundproofRoom
#AndTheNeighboursSoundedLikeTheyWereUpToStuffSoINeededTheSoundproofness
#EverytimeIGotAGoodTakeIDecidedToChangeTheLyricsABit
#ThatWasAnnoying
#LyricsOrWords
#IsThisClassedAsASongOrJustSomethingWeird
#ProbablyJustSomethingWeird
#IAmGladIDecidedToWhisperAsOtherwiseTheNeighboursWouldHaveProbablyComplainedAboutHearingIt100PlusTimes
#IFinallyThoughtThisVideoTakeWasGoodEnough
#SoIAteLunchAndWatchedAnimalVideos
#DidYouKnowThatKangaroosCanSuspendTheirPregnanciesAndCanNotWalkBackwards
#WhoKnewAVideoAboutMyBodyBeingMyBodyCouldAlsoProvideAnimalFacts
#ButYeahMyBodyIsMyBody
#AndYourBodyIsYourBody
#SoRespectForAllBodies
#BodiesBodiesBodies
#ThatJustRemindsMeThatIHadAGreatTimeAtAWeddingTheOtherWeekDancingToBodiesByDrowningPool
#3rdSeptember2019
(Working Titles) My Neighbours Hate Me /
Trying To Hit The Space Bar With Ping Pong Balls To Stop The Video /
The Ping Pong Balls Hit The Space Bar But They Aren't Heavy Enough And I Don't Want To Smash My Computer Up /
I Hope My Insurers Don't See This /
I Don't Like How The Background Looks But The Room Has Carpet And I Want My Neighbours To Like Me /
I Bought The Ping Pong Balls For A Workshop But Nothing Is Going To Plan /
Yes My Laptop Is Covered In Ping Pong Dust Now (2019)
#PingPong
#PingPongBalls
#BadComputer
#BadNeighbour
#IsThisEvenArt
#WhatIsArt
#IHateThatQuestion
#ArtIsWhatYouWantItToBe
#WhoMakesALivingFromTheirPersonalWorkAnyways
#ArtArtArt
#ArtSoundsLikeFart
#WithoutArtWeWouldFallApart
#ArtsBeenHereSinceTheStart
#IWantAnAppleTart
#HaveYouSeenAnAppleCart
#MaybeThisVideoWouldHaveBeenBetterWithDarts
#HashtagProcrastination
#HadToCheckTheSpellingOfProcrastination
#WellIOnlyDidABazillionMoreTakesThanIExpectedForThis
#ChangingTheChoreographyAroundEvenIfItDoesNotLookThatChoreographed
#AndThenHavingToMoveTheChairsForwardDidNotGoVerySmoothlyMostOfTheTime
#AndThenNotBeingAbleToSeeOnceIWasBehindTheCurtainWasNotGreat
#AndTheQualityIsNotThatGreatForMostOfIt
#ButIGotThere
#AndItWillDoUntilICanAffordASuperStarTeamForHighQualityThings
#IDoNotKnowIfIWantThatThough
#FeltAwkwardEnoughWithTiagoMakingHisLunchInTheBackgroundForSomeOfIt
#IOriginallyWasNotHappyWithTheAudio
#IHopeMyNeighboursCouldNotHearMeSingingButTheyProbablyCould
#AndThenTheyHadToHearItAMillionTimesWhilstIWasTryingToDoTheVisuals
#AndScrapingTheChairsOnTheFloorToo
#SorryNeighbours
#EverytimeIResetITookTheComputerOffALittleTableThatITookOffTwoChairsToAvoidScrapingItConstantly
#ButOnceIStartedToDoTheVisualsIForgotAboutTheAudio
#OnTuesdayIMadeSomeDanceVideosAndWasDoingMyUsualTestsByMovingMyHandsAround
#ThoughtThatWouldBeAFunVideo
#StartedToMakeTheSongUp
#IHaveChangedTheLyricsALittleBitDuringTheWeekAndThenIRecordedTheAudioAndVisualsTodayWhichIsAFriday
#OriginallyIThoughtIWouldBeCompletelyBehindTheBlackFabricButThingsChanged
#FunnyHowThisVideoAndTheLastOneWhichWasTheFirstOneLikeThisAreBothToDoWithConsent
#ILoveSomeFunPlayfulVideosWithADeeperMessage
#IAlsoFeltLikeIHadToAddTheSecondBitAsIWorryWithMakingAThingSayingHandsAreThereForHoldingThatPeopleWillJustWalkUpToMeAndStartHoldingMyHand
#AndThatIsTooAwkwardSoPleaseDoNotDoThatToMeOrAnyoneElseThankYou
#IAlmostForgotToMentionHowAwkwardItIsMakingSomethingWithMeSingingSomewhatNormally
#JustHearingItNowOnInstagramIsSoCringe
#ButIGuessThisChapterOfMyWorkIsALotToDoWithBecomingMoreComfortableWithMyWordsAndMyVoice
#FunAwkwardTimes
#ThatIsWhatIWillCallMyAutobiography
#ChangingTheChoreographyAroundEvenIfItDoesNotLookThatChoreographed
#AndThenHavingToMoveTheChairsForwardDidNotGoVerySmoothlyMostOfTheTime
#AndThenNotBeingAbleToSeeOnceIWasBehindTheCurtainWasNotGreat
#AndTheQualityIsNotThatGreatForMostOfIt
#ButIGotThere
#AndItWillDoUntilICanAffordASuperStarTeamForHighQualityThings
#IDoNotKnowIfIWantThatThough
#FeltAwkwardEnoughWithTiagoMakingHisLunchInTheBackgroundForSomeOfIt
#IOriginallyWasNotHappyWithTheAudio
#IHopeMyNeighboursCouldNotHearMeSingingButTheyProbablyCould
#AndThenTheyHadToHearItAMillionTimesWhilstIWasTryingToDoTheVisuals
#AndScrapingTheChairsOnTheFloorToo
#SorryNeighbours
#EverytimeIResetITookTheComputerOffALittleTableThatITookOffTwoChairsToAvoidScrapingItConstantly
#ButOnceIStartedToDoTheVisualsIForgotAboutTheAudio
#OnTuesdayIMadeSomeDanceVideosAndWasDoingMyUsualTestsByMovingMyHandsAround
#ThoughtThatWouldBeAFunVideo
#StartedToMakeTheSongUp
#IHaveChangedTheLyricsALittleBitDuringTheWeekAndThenIRecordedTheAudioAndVisualsTodayWhichIsAFriday
#OriginallyIThoughtIWouldBeCompletelyBehindTheBlackFabricButThingsChanged
#FunnyHowThisVideoAndTheLastOneWhichWasTheFirstOneLikeThisAreBothToDoWithConsent
#ILoveSomeFunPlayfulVideosWithADeeperMessage
#IAlsoFeltLikeIHadToAddTheSecondBitAsIWorryWithMakingAThingSayingHandsAreThereForHoldingThatPeopleWillJustWalkUpToMeAndStartHoldingMyHand
#AndThatIsTooAwkwardSoPleaseDoNotDoThatToMeOrAnyoneElseThankYou
#IAlmostForgotToMentionHowAwkwardItIsMakingSomethingWithMeSingingSomewhatNormally
#JustHearingItNowOnInstagramIsSoCringe
#ButIGuessThisChapterOfMyWorkIsALotToDoWithBecomingMoreComfortableWithMyWordsAndMyVoice
#FunAwkwardTimes
#ThatIsWhatIWillCallMyAutobiography
Your Mind & Body Is All That You've Got (2013)
I made this to accompany my Your Mind & Body Is All That You've Got series in a two person show at Photofusion, London in August 2013. I've had phases during my practice where I have felt weird, awkward or bad about making mainly self-portraiture work, one of these phases occurred in the run up to the show. I made the video as a way for others to perhaps understand a little about why I take self-portraits.
The video's audio speaks of experiences that made me self-conscious, lose confidence and struggle with my body image.
Hotel Mirror Home (2010)
Hotel Mirror Home is a remake of a morning when I was at an arts festival sharing a hotel room with a girl I had met a few nights previously (and been placed with by the festival). I had received a phonecall the night before that had upset me deeply and I went into the bathroom and ran the shower so that she couldn't hear me crying or knock on the door if she heard no noise. I ended up just staring at myself blankly feeling kind of empty. The effects of the hot water on the mirror felt quite poignant at the time.
Opening Tinder (2014)
Opening Tinder was made for the Laughing My Art Off Symposium in November 2014 at the London College of Communication.
The audio track is a male housemate and I talking whilst using the dating app Tinder. Our 'strategies' for the app were quite different...