I feel very meh.
If someone asks me what I am doing I'd like to ask to photograph them.
A cyclist was looking at me so I stretched.
I hope she didn’t film me/take pictures of me.
I mistake birds and squirrels for footsteps.
I didn't feel safe anywhere.
I think they're gone now.
I'm feeling a bit weird.
I think I look more suspicious the more that I stop. I can’t help it though. My natural reaction is just to stop.
I stopped a few times waiting for people to go past.
'Photographing myself outside is a different story… I am scared. Scared of what people might think I am doing. Scared what they might say. Scared of what they might do… But yesterday I realised that I just needed to get outside.' - 1st October 2015.
In 2015 I realised how much anxiety was a theme within my work and present within my life.
Since moving to London in late 2010 I had mainly been taking self-portraits in my room/’studio’. Whilst making Amalgamated Anomalies I decided that I had to 'face my fears' and photograph myself outside. I kept a diary whilst on shoots which provided the captions.
Drawing/doodling is something that I have often done to relax or concentrate, so drawing on the photographs felt like a natural step to channel my anxiety.
Whilst studying Portuguese I saw neblina, which means light fog, and I liked how beautiful and dark it looked. It also seemed like a good way of describing how anxiety affects the inside of my head (it fills it with a light fog so I feel a bit lost and scared).
(This is a selection of images from the series)
