Yesterday I had the most energy that I've had for a while. I went to 7 different shows/events, chatted with a lot of people (mostly me doing my awkward rambling act of talking rubbish) and missed all of Eurovision (I was hoping to at least catch the end of the results, but no).
Today I have definitely been slower, but it is probably due to the busy day more than anything else. Met some friends for brunch, then tried to stay awake. I have been trying to go to the park lately as it definitely gives me more energy and it's good to get away from screens for a bit. We (boyfriend and I) took our table tennis stuff and went out. Both tables were busy and I was trying to work out if anyone was queueing. It was the first time we had had to queue and I get nervous about accidentally pushing in front of people. We sat on a bench nearby but I didn't want to keep watching them as I hate when people do that to us and after a while a table freed up.
I have to try to zone out people sitting nearby or walking past as they make me really nervous. When I miss the ball I feel like people are laughing at me or judging. Especially when you look up and see people looking your way. It was a little bit windy so I did yell 'it was the wind!' a few times to make myself feel better. When we had finished, a couple who had been sitting by us all the whole time came over to use the table. I felt bad as had they been waiting all this time? Though my boyfriend pointed out that the table next to us had freed up earlier, but a couple sat on the same bench as we had came to use it, so if so it wasn't entirely our fault. Sometimes we play tennis and there is always a queue and people definitely watch you more there. When I am really bad I worry that they are thinking 'this woman is rubbish and I could be using that court', but then again they are free for everyone to use so I have as much right as them to use it. And maybe they really don't care what I do...
(I took a few different pictures for today - self-portraits by the bathroom door, a couple looking up to trees which caught my eye in the park and this one of the ping pong bat, which I took first. I only took one quickly as people were approaching the table and I didn't want them to 'judge me' for taking a picture...)