Spending the first 7 years of my life in a multicultural city and then moving to a town where it felt like everyone wanted to be the same, I was soon pegged as the 'weird kid'.
As a teenager I made friends with others who didn't seem to care about fitting in with the majority, so influenced by them and others who went to local rock gigs, the way that I dressed changed. I didn't really feel comfortable wearing the clothes but I made myself wear them as I wanted to be 'different'. Particularly the bright big green cords that is probably one of the things that people remember me wearing the most. I always felt self-conscious wearing them and people would usually yell things at me for wearing them. Now I ask myself why didn't I wear clothes that were at least a bit more flattering? The trend for big clothes suited me well when I was feeling most self-conscious about my body, though I did wear more well fitting items whilst feeling awkward about them. I think if I hadn't been so stubborn about being 'different' then my self-esteem would have been a lot better over the years, but I guess it was important for me at the time.
Now I still love bright colours and patterns, but feel self-conscious about wearing certain things in my wardrobe. The main way that I generally express this love is through my socks and trainers. Sometimes on the tube I notice people staring at them or making comments which makes me feel uneasy.
There are a lot of clothes that I would like to wear, but I feel like they never suit me. Sometimes I think you have to be a singer or actor to get away with wearing a lot of fashion, or just have more confidence...